Butters' Favorite Things 2023
My tips for less stressful/conscious gifting for everyone on your list, and my personal favorite things from this year.
The holidays can be both a festive and stressful time, with gifting adding to the stress. Whether you’re trying to be more conscious of the environment or your spending, opt out of the mindless consumerism, or you’re simply stumped about what to get people, I hope this guide will help you. If you have stuff to add, let me know! I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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Guiding Principles and Ideas for Less Stressful and Conscious Gifting
We’re not above money or gift cards: I know there are some people out there who are dead set against gift cards. This is not for those people. With everything being more expensive these days, I know very few people who would turn up their nose at some cold hard cash. Bonus: It also helps you stay within your spending limits. Which leads to my next tip…
Set a budget: I can hear Bryan laughing at me when he reads this, because this is my biggest area for improvement. Here are some ideas to tone it down (some taken from Melissa Urban’s “slow gift” guide):
Limit the scope and number of people you buy for (Examples: only immediate family, or propose a Secret Santa exchange instead of buying gifts for everyone)
Set a limit per person, which can be flexible depending on the recipient. For example, you may set the cap at $25 for friends and $50 for family
Set a boundary around paying extra for rush shipping. If it gets there after the actual day, it’ll just extend the celebration! Make sure to let your recipients know to take the pressure off of them, too.
Handmade gifts: This can be either handmade by you or a maker from your local farmer’s market or craft fair. One year I gave hand-painted ceramic spoon rests made by an artist I know from college. I’ve made and gifted homemade lip balm, body butter, hot chocolate, jam, apple butter, and vanilla extract. It takes more time to make things yourself, but it’s also thoughtful and fairly cost-effective if you love this sort of thing like I do.
Make it a theme!: This is one of my favorite things to do when giving a physical gift. I like to include a homemade element, or make a kit or gift basket for a fun experience. For example, a movie night kit with a Netflix gift card, popcorn, and a fuzzy blanket. Hot chocolate (homemade or store-bought) with a candy cane stick for stirring and a cute mug. A wine tasting kit with mini wine bottles and tasting glasses. You get the idea.
Experiences: Think concert or game tickets, dinner or coffee dates, classes for their latest hobby (online or in-person), or a fun day/night out thoughtfully planned by you. With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, the gift of quality time can be the most precious.
Give the gift of convenience: Sometimes the best gift is saving time or effort. This could be a gift card for a local meal delivery service, Instacart, DoorDash, cleaning services, lawn maintenance…the possibilities are endless.
Gift consumables: This minimizes waste and clutter, especially if it’s something you know your recipient loves. Gift something shelf stable or something that ages well to keep it even more eco-friendly.
Give back: For those who want to minimize their impact or choose to go no-gift, a charitable donation is the perfect alternative. You can organize a group donation with your family or friends or gift it to someone who doesn’t want any physical gifts.
Shop small, local, and sustainable: Don’t get me wrong—I like Amazon and shop there often, so no judgement if that’s your jam. That said, I also love to support small businesses and shop local when possible. If you can, buy directly from their website instead of Amazon, since they pay a fee to list their products there. If you do shop on Amazon, you can choose no-rush shipping or eco-friendly options like consolidating into fewer boxes or minimizing shipping materials by shipping in the manufacturer’s packaging. I also like to support eco-friendly brands whenever possible, like Earthling Co, Me Mother Earth, and Zero Waste Store.
Regift responsibly: We all receive gifts that, while well-intentioned, we know we’re not going to use. In this case, a well-executed regift is your best friend. If you know someone else who might love it, give it to them! You can also use it as your contribution to a white elephant gift exchange. Just be a good human and don’t gift expired cosmetics or things you’ve obviously used. Feeling guilty? Remember that what happens to the gift after you’ve received it is your prerogative. You get to decide if and how to use it. Would you rather feel guilty about regifting to someone who will love it, or letting it collect dust in your home or get thrown away? The choice is yours.
Gift advent calendars to extend the celebration instead of counting down: Growing up, I always used advent calendars as a way to count down to Christmas, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Some Christian churches celebrate the season of Christmas from December 25-January 6, with Eastern Orthodox Christmas being on or around January 7. Pagans celebrate 12 days of Yule from the Winter Solstice through the New Year. Even if you celebrate purely for fun vs. religious or cultural significance, it’s still fun to have something to look forward to every day to extend the festive mood and break up the winter blahs.
Reuse wrapping materials: To save the stress of wrapping, we try to make it easy on ourselves. We have a small bin of gift bags and tissue paper that we’ve saved from gifts we’ve received, including those handy-dandy Amazon gift bags. I also have a roll of brown butcher’s paper that you can tie with twine or different colored bows and ribbons. Because it’s neutral, it can be reused for multiple occasions, and you’re not stuck with massive rolls of Christmas or winter-themed wrapping paper that you can only use once a year. You can also use newspaper, paper grocery bags, scarves, extra fabric, or anything else you have on hand.
What are your best gifting tips? Let me know in the comments!
Gift Guide for Every Person on Your List
I’ve included links where applicable, but I’m not an affiliate for anything I recommend.
For the person who buys everything for themselves: We all know at least one, or we are that person. (I certainly fall into this category at times.) This may be a controversial opinion, but sometimes the best gift to give is control. These people will likely appreciate something you know they’ll use, whether it be a gift card to their favorite store or restaurant, their favorite coffee or tea, or a bottle or set of their drink of choice.
For the person who doesn’t want any extra stuff: Experiences are the way to go. You can also thoughtfully gift consumables that you know they’ll use so they don’t accumulate extra clutter. You can also opt to donate to their favorite charity in their name.
For the world traveler: Travel essentials like packing cubes, Apple air tags for checked bags, international plug adapters, reusable clear bags for liquids/gels at TSA checkpoints, solid shampoo and conditioner bars or lotion bars that don’t count as liquids. If they have an upcoming trip planned, you can also gift a hotel or cabin upgrade, tours/excursions, welcome treats in their room, or dinner.
For the eco-conscious: Sustainable, zero-waste, or plastic-free swaps for typical household items, like shampoo and conditioner bars, lotion bars, reusable silicone zip bags. Experiences, consumables, and charitable donations also work great here.
For your friend who’s always learning something: Digital subscription to their favorite Substack, news outlet, or an online course.
For your friend who needs to save time in the kitchen: Meal delivery service, DoorDash, Instacart, or pre-made spice blends or sauces to make cooking easier.
For anyone who needs a break for self-care: Gift card for massage, haircut, spa, or mani/pedi. You can also plan an at-home spa day for a budget-friendly option.
For the sober curious: Mocktail kits or pre-made drinks for when sparkling water just won’t cut it. I love Ghia, De Soi, Curious Elixirs, and the ISH spritz, a zero-proof aperol spritz.
For your woo-woo friend: You can’t go wrong with a a reading, either for tarot, astrology, or other intuitive modality. Year-ahead readings are especially great for this time of year. You could also gift a tarot or oracle deck they’ve been eyeing, crystals, or essential oils.
For the kiddos: Ask the parents what they want or need. Some parents don’t want a bunch of toys that their kids will play with for 2 seconds, so experiences or quality time might be a great alternative, like movie or game night, a day at the zoo, paying for lessons for their latest activity, etc.
For parents and pawrents: Gift them a date night where you watch the kids or animals and let them have a night out. You can pair it with a gift card to their favorite restaurant to round it out. Bryan’s parents gave us that for Christmas last year, and it was so appreciated.
My Favorite Things for 2023
As stated above: No affiliate links, just sharing what I love. Enjoy!
French Fries and Barolo Wine and Food Pairing Masterclass with Bri McKoy (time-sensitive): This live wine and food pairing masterclass is a perfect experience gift for the holidays and starts on January 8th. I took Bri’s Popcorn and Champagne class a couple years ago and learned so much. It was a great way to learn new recipes and tips for pairing wine with your meals. You can sign up to take the course with a friend and get a 20% discount.
The Cook’s Book by Bri McKoy: If you’re not able or not feeling the vibe of a live masterclass (or online course replays), this is the next best thing. I’ve made and loved so many of her recipes that we implicitly trust anything she creates. The great part about this cookbook is that it includes information different cooking techniques, types of salt, and pairing wine with your meals. Whether you’re a complete beginner or a seasoned home cook, you’ll learn something from this book. Highly recommend!
The (In)ner Tarot by Kate Van Horn (pre-order): This is a perfect gift for the tarot lover in your life. I have loved learning from Kate about the tarot and the lessons and stories the cards tell about us and other people, so I know this book will be amazing. It won’t be released until February 2024, so this is a great way to extend the celebration.
Kate McLeod body stone: You already know my love for these things. My hands get super dry in the winter, and these have been saving me. I’ve never been an avid moisturizer, but this makes the ritual enjoyable and intentional.
40-oz tumbler with handle and straw: Since I always have an emotional support water bottle with me, these have upped the hydration game for me. I love that they fit in my car’s cupholder and hold a ton of liquid. My current favorite is from Simple Modern, but there’s also Stanley, Hydro Flask, BruMate, and HydroJug.
Spice blends from Balanced Bites, Primal Palate, and Williams Sonoma: These have been so perfect to mix up the flavors of our meals without getting bored or following complicated recipes. Pick any flavor combination that appeals to you and have fun with it!
That’s a wrap! I hope this was helpful. Happy Holidays, everyone! I’ll see you in 2024. :)
All great tips baby girl! I wish I would have read sooner.😆🎄🎅