Don't Dim Your Magic

Some thoughts on the unintended consequences of relentless self-improvement

For whatever reason, I’ve been feeling a burst of creative energy lately in between my desire to hibernate. So I’m leaning into it and churning out posts like no one’s business. Then I’ll probably be radio silent for a while and focus on other things. Who knows.

I hope you’re having a lovely holiday season and a great start to the new year!

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I once saw a video by State of Kait on YouTube talking about how beauty trends sometimes result in people trying to look the same. This is all well and good for trending nail polish or lip colors, but it’s more consequential with cosmetic procedures like lip fillers or other surgeries to achieve a certain aesthetic. She lamented that this leaves very little room for individuality or embracing the features that make you, you. That said, if you get cosmetic enhancements because it makes you feel your best, you do you! It’s worth checking your motivation, though.

The more I thought about it, I realized that this can be applied to other self-improvement trends, whether it be new diet fads, minimalism, or something else. And of course, there is always someone ready to capitalize on something that bothers you about yourself by selling the latest game-changing supplement or coaching program. It’s wild how much money can be made by telling people about problems they never knew they had. Spoiler alert: Many times, they aren’t actually problems at all.

Once I traded birth chart readings with a fellow intuitive to practice our astrology skills. I joked about how I probably have too many tarot and oracle decks, and she reminded me that I have a lot of Scorpio (deep, penetrating energy) placements in my 3rd house (ruled by Gemini, which governs communication, learning, and our hobbies). So, she reasoned, it makes sense that I tend to go deep in my research and collect things pertaining to my interests.

Hearing that made my soul exhale. In a world full of external expectations that tell us how we should improve or optimize all the things, it’s nice to remember that we also have full permission to be authentically ourselves. These little quirks are part of our magic and make us interesting. There’s something to be said for having the self-awareness and confidence to opt out of self-improvement trends or selectively implement what resonates with us and our highest, most sparkly self.

As I’ve studied Human Design through Alexandra Cole’s Live Your Design membership, one of my favorite focus months was building healthy habits according to your design. It embraced the idea that we’re not all the same. While every habit expert will tell you that consistency is the key to success, the reality is that we’re not all built that way. Some of us thrive on consistency and routine, while others benefit from a more flexible, intuitive approach.

This doesn’t mean that we should never seek improvement or make excuses for something that we genuinely want to change by saying, “Well, this is just the way I am.” You can still have a growth mindset while embracing your uniqueness. There’s a difference between staying stagnant and mindfully deciding that change isn’t necessary in this specific area. I can acknowledge that I like to collect things for my interests and experiments and take steps to prevent overwhelm. I can do periodic audits to keep my collections manageable so that I use and love everything I own.

When setting intentions for this year, take a moment to notice how your body reacts. Does it feel exciting and expansive, or do you feel a light flicker out when you think of implementing something new? The answer will tell you a lot about whether this is something you really want for yourself, or societal programming. You might also discover that it’s not the habit itself, but the method that feels out of alignment. Is there a way to make the change you want without sacrificing your values? How can you make this work for you?

What trends are you opting out of this year? Let me know in the comments!