My Favorite Self-Awareness Tools
As long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated with personality tests. When I started my first job out of college, we took the Myers-Briggs test, which totally captured my interest. I was more excited to learn about that than my actual job, which is pretty telling now that I think of it. That unlocked my fascination with human behavior, which led me to discover other frameworks to better understand myself and others.
Personality tests like Myers-Briggs are a great start. That said, it’s only an assessment of our behavior at that point in time. Our personality expression can change based on our circumstances. For example, we may become more introverted as we get older (or as we go through a global pandemic), or we may have a job that forces us to work more with facts and logic than soft skills or using our feelings to make decisions. That said, it’s still a great tool to better understand yourself for that season. Once you’ve gained that initial awareness of how you operate, another piece of the puzzle is to understand why you act the way you do and how you’re impacted by outside forces as you move through life. That’s where the Enneagram, astrology, and human design come in. I’ll give a brief overview of all three, why I think they’re helpful, and leave you with a few of my favorite people, books, websites, and podcasts if you’d like to learn more.
The Enneagram
The Enneagram is a framework of archetypes based on your core motivation and basic fears. This was my gateway to understanding myself and my behavior patterns, which was a game changer for self-awareness, compassion, and improving my relationships. I love that the Enneagram embraces the nuances of our human experience. Different types can behave in similar ways, but for different reasons. Because the types can look different through lines of integration or disintegration, levels of health, wings, and subtypes (self-preservation, one-to-one, or social), it’s not about putting yourself in a box. It’s about embracing your full self and realizing that there’s no one “good” or “bad” type. Every type has gifts to share with the world, and we need all of them for the world to function! Our type is also an expression of how we learned to adapt to our environment based on experiences we internalized, trauma, or societal conditioning. This awareness helps us to give grace to ourselves and others.
Who I’ve learned from:
Abi Robins (Author of The Conscious Enneagram, host of the Conscious Construction podcast)
Sarajane Case (Author of The Honest Enneagram, host of the Enneagram and Coffee podcast)
The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut
Astrology
Astrology makes a lot of us think about the horoscope section in magazines based on our Sun sign, which is just the tip of the iceberg. Knowing your birth time and location unlocks a snapshot of the sky at the moment you were born: your birth chart. You’ll often hear people talking about the “Big 3,” your Sun, Moon, and Rising (or Ascendant) signs, but all the planets, signs, and their placements in astrological houses can give you insight into how different areas of your life are influenced. AND because the sky is always changing, you’ll find that there’s always something new to observe. Our energy, just like the stars in the sky, is always shifting and changing.
Who I’ve learned from:
Human Design
While the Enneagram and astrology embrace the movement and change throughout our lives, I like to think of human design as a blueprint for the way we would naturally show up in the world. It’s a guide to what feels most aligned for us without societal conditioning. While there are so many facets to human design that I’m still learning, your type (e.g. Manifestor, Generator/Manifesting Generator, Projector, and Reflector), strategy (how your energy interacts with the world), and authority (how you best make decisions) are keys to finding ease instead of fighting against yourself by doing things the way society says you “should.” Experimenting with these ideas gives you insight into how you’re meant to operate, which is really freeing.
Who I’ve learned from:
Graciela Rasor (Check her out on S1 E9 and S1 E28 of Alice Hu’s Into the Woo Podcast for a great intro!)
Jenna Zoe’s My Human Design website and app
The Definitive Book of Human Design: The Science of Differentiation by Ra Uru Hu and Lynda Bunnell
So, What’s the Point?
The beauty of using these tools to understand yourself better is realizing that you’re enough and worthy exactly as you are. You’re not broken, you’re not alone, and your experiences are valid. You can work with this awareness to make necessary changes, or recognize where you need healing and support. Embracing your authentic self, even the frustrating parts, is an act of radical self-love and compassion.
And then, once you move past the introspection, you realize that this applies to everyone else, too. Yes, everyone. Even the asshole that cut you off in the grocery store parking lot. This doesn’t excuse bad behavior or remove the need for accountability, but it does help to hold space for others and their individual experience. We realize that we’re all just imperfect humans moving through life, doing our best with what we have. This understanding helps to improve our relationships and empower our communities.
I’ll talk more in future posts about my personal experiences with these frameworks and how they overlap and reinforce each other. If you’re familiar with these frameworks and find them useful, talk to me! Tell me what you’ve learned about yourself and others in the comments.