What My Parents Taught Me Before I Knew About Manifestation
The everyday magic of moving from scarcity to abundance
Full disclosure, I wrote 98% of this post months ago, never published it, and didn’t realize it until now. While reading Melissa Urban’s XOMU newsletter this week about manifestation, I thought, “Huh, I wrote something about that topic a while back,” looked for it, and only found the draft document on my laptop. So, enjoy this long overdue analysis of cultivating a mindset of hope and abundance. Ha!
Dad: “Hey, Lauren! What 2 words piss me off more than anything else?”
Me: *2 second pause* “I can’t.”
My dad was in the middle of one of his long rants about positive thinking, probably trying to pump up one of my cousins who was feeling discouraged about their aspirations. Maybe they weren’t even that discouraged, but the second he hears those words, he nips it in the bud. I learned very quickly to add the word “yet” at the end if I ever dared to utter that phrase.
Somewhere around the time I was in high school, my dad started watching Joel Osteen on TV. He’s famous for preaching what many people call the “prosperity gospel,” and he’s often criticized for it. Nevertheless, his messages had an impact on my dad. It was a welcome reprieve from the old fire and brimstone preaching styles, focusing on a message of hope and mercy instead. After one of his sermons, my dad started reminding me regularly that I had “God’s favor,” and that I could do anything I wanted to do. I rolled my eyes, like any teenage girl would, and said, “Okay, thanks Dad.” Even if I didn’t admit it at the time, it felt good to have that vote of confidence during those formative years.
My mom created a nice counter-balance to my dad’s eternal optimism. She preferred not to “pump my butt full of sunshine,” (her words, not mine), and gave me a nice dose of reality whenever I needed it. She broke the news that my 3rd grade dream of being an Olympic gymnast probably wasn’t realistic if I was too scared to do a back handspring without a spot. She also saw my strengths, like writing and public speaking, and encouraged me to use them. She didn’t want to pass any of her fears and insecurities down to me, so she never told me that she didn’t like math until much later.
So thanks to my parents, when I started hearing about the concept of manifestation and programming my mindset to abundance vs. scarcity, or growth vs. fixed, it made sense to me. I intrinsically understood that truly believing in yourself was the first step to achieving your dreams and building the life you want. You still have to do the work, of course, but mindset helps to see it through and keeps us going when we start losing steam.
That’s not to say that it’s easy, or that limiting beliefs don’t creep in; we are human, after all. As much as we’d love to be shielded from societal norms and expectations, we all internalize something from our environment, culture, and the content we consume. We get caught up in the comparison game that steals our joy. We’re disappointed when our dreams are dashed. We go through really hard seasons or face barriers with factors out of our control.
There’s something to be said for feeling through those emotions and experiences without trying to bypass it with a positive mindset or trite phrases like, “Everything happens for a reason,” or, “You need to raise your vibration.” There may be some truth in these statements, but it’s important not to use them to minimize someone’s experience, try to “fix” uncomfortable feelings, or blame someone for things not turning out the way they want. It’s not just about our own actions or mindset, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. We’re impacted by societal constructs (public policy, cultural norms, systemic discrimination), and other humans with free will, which can throw a wrench in even the most well-made plans or rock-solid self-esteem.
That said, once we’ve considered all these factors (including mental health and accessing the support we need), how do we stop the doom spiral? What if we don’t know where to start, or if we didn’t grow up believing that we could do anything we wanted? How do we change up the narrative and start telling ourselves stories that feel empowering?
Sometimes we need to start small to build up our sense of self-efficacy, the belief that we are capable of doing hard things. Reflecting on the challenges you’ve been through, how you conquered them, and what you learned can help build evidence of your ability to move through sucky situations. Even if you’re not thriving or able to see a lesson in your struggles, sometimes the fact that you’re still living and breathing is enough.
It starts with finding one good thing. The more you look for them, the more you might start to notice and acknowledge them in the moment. Establishing presence and awareness of the good things leads to gratitude, which is the foundation of an abundance mindset. Progress isn’t linear, and there will always be challenging days. It doesn’t seem like much at first, but incremental improvement will become more evident over time.
The magic happens when our mind looks for the good and our actions follow to create more of it. We take steps to do things that light us up and bring us joy. We seek out and nurture relationships with people who cheer us on and want the best for us. We realize that we are worthy of love, not because of anything we do, but because we exist.
In the Magician chapter of Tarot for Change, Jessica Dore reveals her favorite definition of magic from the anonymous author of Meditations on the Tarot:
“All Magic…is the putting into practice of this: that the subtle rules the dense.”
She explains that we are hard-wired to seek maximum pleasure for minimal discomfort, which influences our automatic, unconscious, and unmagical daily habits. When we redirect our energy, emotions, and thoughts (the subtle) to make changes in our physical reality (the dense) and break out of the automatic cycle, she describes it as “modern-day alchemy,” where we “cross the threshold from the habitual to the magical.” She goes on to reference another excerpt from Meditations on the Tarot, which says that biblical concepts like “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you,” is “wisdom straight from a ‘school for the miraculous.’”
So, when you make choices like drinking more water because you know it makes you feel better, finding one good thing from your shitstorm of a day, or remembering that rest is also productive even though hustle culture would have you believe otherwise…you’re making magic! Go you! It’s not easy at first, but the more you practice, the easier and more automatic it becomes, which is really magical when you look back later and realize how far you’ve come.
What magic are you making these days?
The Overshare Zone
Thoughts of now, whether you want to hear it or not.
Feeling: Exhaustion punctuated with brief moments of motivation, thanks to this eclipse season energy. Anxiety about the upcoming midterms.
Thinking About: The fact that this lunar eclipse in Taurus coincides with Election Day in the U.S., bringing up themes around money, power, values, and stability, and what that means for our collective destiny. Even though I feel anxious, I’m trying to stay grounded, remind myself that I can only control my own vote, release it to the universe, and hope for the best.
Enjoying: Channeling my creative side into a new Instagram account for my tarot and intuitive interests. Follow me there (@pocketsofintuition) for Tarot Tuesday posts and other fun things. :)